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A generous dose of hot up the backside may not be to
everyone's taste, however as a pre-game warm up to increase aggression, there is definitely no substitute.
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I like to compare myself with the likes of Raul since we both like to celebrate scoring goals by kissing our rings, only he does it on his feet,
I'm usually on my back.
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Contrary to popular belief, the yellow head band
isn't just a fashion statement. It serves to confuse defensemen into thinking of me as a mere pushover.
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Being
unfairly benched for a game means the captain has made a fatal error of
judgment. I let him know by shaking my head in disbelief and declaring to anyone
who'll listen I'm not happy!
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Having shin splints would normally slow a player down, not me. I simply ignore the pain and the trainer and not run at all.
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Strikers are finely balanced athletes, deftly skipping past obstacles with grace and ease.
We're also known to have an acute sense of all that is going on around us, although when it comes to my bicycle and stationary cars, my senses are for some unfathomable reason temporarily numbed.
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Despite what you may think, being top heavy gives me a distinct advantage over your athletic selves. Referees are more inclined to sympathize whenever I stumble on the field since I look a lot more like a referee than a player.
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Since strikers are a unique lot, deliberately leaving various items of kit at home or on train seats serves to remind the entire team just how unique you really are.
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I never did find out whose birthday it was in Bangkok or I may have persuaded them to buy me a drink, or at least give me a piece of that cake.
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Of course I know what happens during a lesbian show! They don their Doc Marten boots and Levis, shave their heads, pick up their placards and protest outside nuclear energy facilities for the TV cameras, right?
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I'm a well-known pop star and the star striker in this football team. While I strive for perfection in my chosen arts, lesser mortals concern themselves with such trivial matters as promptness, preparedness, fitness, and orderliness.
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The fastest white man in Asia does not need to prove his speed in a petty foot race with his teammates, cause
it's a title I'd kind of like to hang on to.
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Of course I'm filthy after a game, I put a lot more effort into it than any other player.
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Once a footballer has elevated himself to the ranks of players good enough to get away with wearing white boots, nothing else will do. Therefore, refusing to run because you have forgotten to bring them is naturally a valid excuse.